[FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW - BEGINS AT 4PM - ALL AGES - 21+ TO DRINK - SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN]

Divorcebod joyfully requests the honor of your presence for an afternoon both marital and martial! He’s fixin to do what SLAM PORTAL does to CENTRAL MACHINE WORKS…. PUT A RING ON IT! AGAIN!

Will it be a match made in heaven or hell? Will he chokeslam at the altar? Will someone bend the knee to submission? Will everyone’s favorite tio, Santa Chiva, take things too far at the bachelor party? WE DON’T KNOW! None of this is predetermined per the Texas Athletic Commision.

But wait! What if you don’t like weddings?!? That’s fine. Science has proven that 69% of our fan base demographic either don’t believe in the institution or hate the marriage they’re in. It’s perfect! So save the date, bring a date, eat a date! Because just like dates, competitors will be pitted against one another for this rowdy ceremony of combat.

Hell yes! Since time incarnate, the galaxy has been beckoning for the collision of archaic social contracts and SAVAGE brutality. Ask anyone in government! And also ask yourself… will you shed a tear for the beautiful union of Divorcebod and…..

wait….

we don’t know who the bride is?

Hmmm.

We’re sure this is alright! The portal works in mysterious ways like that of a U2 song from the 1991 album, Achtung Baby. Who are WE to question its BIG DAY, its motives, or the complexities of love?

As usual, we can only shake the dice, throw the rice, and work the anaconda vice! Brother.

SLAM PORTAL is a small, subversive troupe of performers, wrestlers, comedians, and artists in the Austin, TX area that create a comedy wrestling show. Imagine the wrestling entertainment you've seen on TV peppered with monsters, aliens, robots, puppets, and dads. It has been described as a play about wrestling that happens to have wrestling in it; set loose in a way only snarky Austinites could deliver crude and campy humor. It is all ages, but not necessarily family appropriate. The premise of the performance is that there exists a multidimensional portal that the host controls to pit a myriad of combatants against each other. It has been likened to a vaudeville fight club since combatant entrances are so emphasized.