It’s time to join SLAM PORTAL to untangle the greatest of mysteries: Who is the masked singer CAT DADDY?! Why did they strike the MEGA-WOLF-MODE CHAMPION and beloved PIZZA WOLF HIMSELF Luigi Primo with a steel chair at SLAM PORTAL III: “BELT IT OUT?!”

Dang, this is a garsh darn PICKLE! More specifically, it’s SLAM PORTAL IV: “WHODUNIT?!”

What a hard boiled mystery we have to GRAPPLE with! But we’re gonna get to the bottom of it; even if we have to SLAM our way to the top! How? Because SLAM PORTAL has hired wise-cracking-frequent-whiskey-drinking-down-on-his-luck-detective-wrestler PHIL NOIR to solve the case! Tight. This sounds like a great idea, see?

Ask yourself: Why would I buy one of those weekend badges in Austin when I can watch Phil Noir carry the badge of FRIGGIN JUSTICE through Toontown for free? That’s right- FREE! Now that’s quality PILEDRIVEN PULP brought to you by the most cynical narrators of all… AUSTINITES!

You want “weird?” We got you! Not only do we plan on solving the Mystery of the Masked Singer, but SLAM PORTAL will also begin the first round of an INTER-DIMENSIONAL TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT, a CHAMPIONSHIP that can travel between the hallowed realms of Austin’s only party wrestling promotion, Party World Rasslin’ and SLAM PORTAL.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Make PLANS to watch SLAMS at 7PM, SATURDAY, MARCH 18TH! Get your magnifying glasses all polished up, dust off your Dick Tracey wrist radios, be adamant that the rug really did tie the room together! And remember: THE TRUTH IS OUT HERE!